His Gentlness

“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

It’s been been a little over two months now since Isaac (1) had his seizure. The week leading up to his seizure the Lord had been preparing my heart for something hard that was coming. I’d been praying for grace and peace to get through whatever was coming.

Even the very morning he had his seizure I had walked the kids to school then on the way home while holding Isaac in his carrier I pulled him in close, kissed his head and prayed out loud.

“Lord, whatever this hard is that is coming please be with us through it. Give us peace and grace to get through and make the decisions we need to.”

Within hours of praying that prayer Isaac woke from his nap pretty unhappy and a little warm. We went outside to play in water, but he was very unhappy. Screaming unhappy. I had tried to take his temperature under his arm a couple times which I found to be very inaccurate. I tried to give him a bottle to lay him back down. While holding him the bottle slipped out of his mouth and he started having uncontrolled movements. Then his eyes wouldn’t focus. I ran to the phone at this point to call the clinic. While waiting for the on-call nurse to call back Fred came him for lunch. I tried to call to him through the open windows but I had no voice. I was shaking and going into shock myself. We were both him when the on-call nurse called. Fred said he is having a seizure and turning blue. She physically ran from the clinic to our house which is right down the road from our house. The breathing came in gasps. His eyes were closed. His body was twitching. He was cold. His face was blue.

Through all of this I was able to pray out loud… not a well drawn out prayer mind you. A broken prayer of “God you are still good. God he is your baby. Oh God he is your baby.”

We though we were going to lose our baby. We thought the Lord was going to take him in those moments.

When the nurse came in our front door his color had just started coming back. He finally started making noise. And breathing more. But he was still out of it. He was snuggled in and not aware of what was going on.

Our neighbor, who happened to be on of our doctors drive us to the clinic. My sister Megan came to be with Ivy and the kids as they came home from school.

As you all know he is doing well now! He will probably never have another seizure again because it was a febrile seizure caused by a rapidly rising fever.

But God!!! He was gentle in the “knowings” He had given me the week leading up to Isaac’s seizure. He was gracious to receive my prayers when I could not think straight.

But the biggest thing we didn’t realize was that God was opening our eyes to be seeing that one of our other kids who seemed to be having seizure-like activity. This I hope to put in another post soon. To share more of how the Lord has been so incredibly gentle! And so incredibly kind through all the hard!